it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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