Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
