My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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