i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
