gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
