it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
