hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
