He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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