im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
