bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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