Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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