she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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