Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize