I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
