I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
