plz talk dirty to me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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