He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
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That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
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all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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