I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You left your phone here
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