Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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