we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
