Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
