I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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