just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
