As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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