i think i have two assholes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
