yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we made out on top of his cat.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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