Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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