why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
