Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
God I need to hump something, right now.
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