The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize