Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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