don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
