Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
