Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
