she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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