She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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