He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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