she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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