yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
