Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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