Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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