This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
