Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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