According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.