I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
