actually, I'm a sock model
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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