OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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