Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
