omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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