How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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