you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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