Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
lets start a swedish sibling band together
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize