I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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