My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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