He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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