I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
