i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
