Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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