maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
